Let’s have a talk 010
I guess you’re probably thinking in your mind already like “what on earth is tokophobia? “. Don’t mind the seemingly big word. Tokophobia is simply the fear of childbirth or pregnancy, the fear of injury to the baby, the genital or even death at childbirth. It can be experienced by someone who has never been pregnant, its known as primary tokophobia or by a woman who had a traumatic experience during her last pregnancy, this is known as secondary tokophobia.
I still remember the shock I had when my friend told me pregnant women irritated her. I was flabbergasted but on a second thought, I was guilty also. I loathe being pregnant. The thought of the changes in looks, taste, attitude or even the scars and sleepless nights send chills down my vein. With my maiden face, i have a broad nose, just imagine what it will look like when I am pregnant.
Motherhood is messy and that’s a fact. You scale through the hurdles of pregnancy and labour pains, then the babies show you, that was nothing compared to what they have in store for you. Your breasts go sore from sucking and biting. They sleep while you are busy and just when you are about to take a nap or sleep at night, their internal alarm clocks alert them that its time to play or cry. It still baffles me why babies can not sleep without crying. Not to forget the fact that they are very good when it comes to ruining your sex life, care not taken. They have a way of knowing that Dad and Mom are about to get busy and they let all hell loose.
The body changes is another monster of motherhood. A slim woman becomes bloated. Stretch marks design your body in all their glory. Not to mention your breasts that will begin to head in opposite directions and the bags under your eyes from inadequate sleep. And the genital might begin to lose shape, thanks to those children with really big heads.
Every stage of their life is more like a game, the higher the level, the harder it becomes. Is it the crawling stage, standing stage, walking stage or even the talking stage? You dread their noise and their silence is worse. Once the house is quiet, they are definitely up to something naughty.
Have you noticed how many times mothers sweep the house in a day? Or how many times they wash in a week? Or even how a quiet woman suddenly becomes a noise maker due to constant shouting? Respect to mothers out there. You are doing a great job.
Its true that motherhood is beautiful but once in a while, one gets scared. Just in case you are scared of motherhood for the reason listed above or for more other reasons, I can tell you that you’re not alone. However, at one point or the other, you still have to live above your fears and embrace motherhood as it is.
Well, the fears have been discussed. So, how can you overcome them?
Firstly, you have to accept the fact that you are scared of pregnancy and childbirth. Next, you talk to a psychologist who might help you to narrow down what really scares you( some are not scared of the pregnancy but labour pains, others might be the protruding belly, stretch marks etc.). Once you know your fear, it’s easier to fight it.
In addition, you can get books that treats tokophobia and also speak with women who have experienced it and fought it, it would be of great help. Not to forget, you can attend classes for pregnant women, be present at a delivery session or even adopt a baby.
With all these, tokophobia should be on its way out of your life but don’t force it, let it go naturally.
What other causes or treatment of tokophobia do you know? Kindly share your knowledge with us using the comment box below. Thanks